The Morning After

            I forced myself to get up. I needed to pee, but then I started to think. If the day ever came, I would need proof. As badly as I wanted to curl up and forget what happened, I could not stomach Coop walking around free and unpunished for what he did. I stared at my reflection in the mirror and noticed the fingerprints around my neck. I started to cry again. I didn’t know which way I was going to go, but either the law or the streets was gonna give me justice. I grabbed my keys and headed for the hospital.

            When I arrived at County General, I went straight up to the OB floor. I knew Grace was on duty and I needed her help. It was so ironic how I’d come full circle. Grace was my father’s girlfriend and I never liked her. First, she wasn’t my mother and I had always hoped my mom and dad would get back together. What child of divorce didn’t? But what I really disliked about her was that she was a dancer. She’d danced in Daddy’s club for years. What I didn’t know was that she really was going to college and when she graduated, she quit dancing and began working as a nurse. I still didn’t like her, but I respected her and I believed she loved my father.

            She spotted me as soon as I came off the elevator. When I saw her, I swallowed hard and walked over to where she stood at the nurse’s station. She looked at my face and asked,

            “What’s wrong?” I shook my head and tried to smile. Grace grabbed my hand, led me into a room and closed the door.

            “I know I have no right to ask, but I need a favor,” I said. I could see the concern on her face. She smiled and nodded.

            “What do you need?”

            “A rape kit. No one can know.”

            “Oh my God! Who was it? I’m calling you father!” she spat, her hand on the doorknob. I touched her shoulder and whispered,

            “Please. Not yet. I just need you to collect any evidence and . . .” I felt like my throat was closing. I couldn’t breathe. She pushed me back onto a chair in the office and gave me a bottle of water from a mini fridge tucked away in a corner.

            “Evidence and what else?” she asked.

            “I need to know if there’s semen present and if there is, I’m gonna need the Morning After pill.” I couldn’t even believe I was saying those words.  

            “We have to call the police. It’s like with gunshot wounds. They have to be reported.”

            “No! Grace, please! I don’t know what I’m gonna do yet! That’s why I didn’t go to the ER. I came here to find you. Please, help me,” I whined. She took a deep breath and sighed.

            “I still think you should tell your father.”

            “It would break his heart.” Grace’s eyes widened and she knew.

            “Coop.” was all she said and I burst into tears. She pulled me close and held me.

            “Grace, Daddy can’t know. No one can know. OK? Please. I’m gonna handle it. I just don’t know how. But in the meantime, I gotta pee and I wanna shower. Before I do either, I need you to collect the evidence.” She nodded and brushed the hair out of my face.

            “OK. Stay here, I’ll get a room ready. Just stay put.”

            She was only gone for a few minutes leaving me time to contemplate what I was going to do. I knew I couldn’t get the police involved because it might bring heat on Daddy and Spence. Although I knew Daddy and Spence would murder anyone who hurt me, the emotional toll it would take on them knowing it was Coop and having to deal with him was too high. I also knew that Derek would go slap off if he knew what Coop did. But that would expose our relationship and open a whole new can of worms. The door opened and startled me. Grace stuck her head into the room and said,

            “Come with me.” I followed her down the hall into an OB exam room.

            After the exam, I went home and showered. I had to do something with Derek and I knew my time was running out. The warm shower comforted me as I scrubbed Coop off my skin. When I pulled the T-shirt over my head and released my hair from the ponytail, I noticed the bruises around my neck again. If Derek saw that . . . if anyone saw it, I’d have to explain it. I changed into a turtleneck. I knew my family was due back soon and I didn’t want to see them. I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, threw the pill in my mouth and swallowed it.

            As I was leaving, I passed Daddy and Spence returning from the airport. I didn’t even look up. I couldn’t. I just mumbled something as I got into my car.

            I sat in Derek’s driveway for a few minutes before going to his door and knocking. He flung the door open and grabbed me.

            “Oh my God! Are you OK?” he asked. I nodded and pulled away from him. Derek closed the door and followed me to the sofa. I sat silently as he hit me with a barrage of questions, none of which I could answer honestly. What happened? Where did Coop take me? Did he hurt me? He asked every question except the most important one. Was I raped? I was so relieved that he didn’t ask, but I knew it was on his mind. He stared at my face until I asked,

            “What are you looking at?”

            “You. I’m trying to see the truth because you’re not telling it.”

            “What do you want me to say? You think I can’t take care of myself?” I asked, annoyance in my voice. He sat back away from me, his brows curled into a confused frown.

            “Look, a nigga kidnaps you outta my bed at gunpoint! I’m not supposed to have questions? I called your phone forever and you didn’t answer! I’m not supposed to have questions?”

            “I’ve answered your damned questions, Derek! What d’ya want from me?” I shouted, standing and grabbing my purse and keys.

            “Leah! What the fuck?”

            “I’m out. I’ll holla at you later,” I said. He grabbed my wrist hard and I freaked.

            “I’m sorry! Hold on! Just hold up a minute!”

            “For what? So you can cross examine me some more? No, Derek!”

            “Look, you know Coop gotta be dealt with. I just need to know what he did so I’ll know whether to kill ‘im or just fuck him up real good,” he said. I knew where he was coming from. Coop had not only disrespected him, he disrespected his home and his woman. I really wasn’t mad at that. I wanted Coop to get got. But I also needed to protect Derek and my dad and brother. I had to handle it by myself. Then I looked into his eyes and saw his anger and pain.

            “First, it wasn’t your fault. He snuck you. OK? So don’t blame yourself. Second, yeah, we had a fight. He doesn’t like me seeing you. He says I’m sleeping with the enemy and he threatened to tell my dad. He followed me home and I went to bed,” I said. He searched my face for a clue. I was stoic. He stared at me to see if I would flinch. I didn’t.

            “Did he touch you?” he asked. My insides quivered.

            “Nah, it wasn’t that serious. OK? So, can we drop this? I just wanna go home and get some sleep.” Still staring, he stepped aside and let me pass to the door. Just before I walked out, I kissed his cheek.