I forced
myself to get up. I needed to pee, but then I started to think. If the day ever
came, I would need proof. As badly as I wanted to curl up and forget what
happened, I could not stomach Coop walking around free and unpunished for what
he did. I stared at my reflection in the mirror and noticed the fingerprints
around my neck. I started to cry again. I didn’t know which way I was going to
go, but either the law or the streets was gonna give me justice. I grabbed my
keys and headed for the hospital.
When I
arrived at County General, I went straight up to the OB floor. I knew Grace was
on duty and I needed her help. It was so ironic how I’d come full circle. Grace
was my father’s girlfriend and I never liked her. First, she wasn’t my mother
and I had always hoped my mom and dad would get back together. What child of
divorce didn’t? But what I really disliked about her was that she was a dancer.
She’d danced in Daddy’s club for years. What I didn’t know was that she really
was going to college and when she graduated, she quit dancing and began working
as a nurse. I still didn’t like her, but I respected her and I believed she
loved my father.
She
spotted me as soon as I came off the elevator. When I saw her, I swallowed hard
and walked over to where she stood at the nurse’s station. She looked at my
face and asked,
“What’s
wrong?” I shook my head and tried to smile. Grace grabbed my hand, led me into
a room and closed the door.
“I know
I have no right to ask, but I need a favor,” I said. I could see the concern on
her face. She smiled and nodded.
“What do
you need?”
“A rape
kit. No one can know.”
“Oh my
God! Who was it? I’m calling you father!” she spat, her hand on the doorknob. I
touched her shoulder and whispered,
“Please.
Not yet. I just need you to collect any evidence and . . .” I felt like my
throat was closing. I couldn’t breathe. She pushed me back onto a chair in the
office and gave me a bottle of water from a mini fridge tucked away in a
corner.
“Evidence
and what else?” she asked.
“I need
to know if there’s semen present and if there is, I’m gonna need the Morning
After pill.” I couldn’t even believe I was saying those words.
“We have
to call the police. It’s like with gunshot wounds. They have to be reported.”
“No!
Grace, please! I don’t know what I’m gonna do yet! That’s why I didn’t go to
the ER. I came here to find you. Please, help me,” I whined. She took a deep
breath and sighed.
“I still
think you should tell your father.”
“It
would break his heart.” Grace’s eyes widened and she knew.
“Coop.”
was all she said and I burst into tears. She pulled me close and held me.
“Grace,
Daddy can’t know. No one can know. OK? Please. I’m gonna handle it. I just don’t
know how. But in the meantime, I gotta pee and I wanna shower. Before I do
either, I need you to collect the evidence.” She nodded and brushed the hair
out of my face.
“OK.
Stay here, I’ll get a room ready. Just stay put.”
She was
only gone for a few minutes leaving me time to contemplate what I was going to
do. I knew I couldn’t get the police involved because it might bring heat on
Daddy and Spence. Although I knew Daddy and Spence would murder anyone who hurt
me, the emotional toll it would take on them knowing it was Coop and having to
deal with him was too high. I also knew that Derek would go slap off if he knew
what Coop did. But that would expose our relationship and open a whole new can
of worms. The door opened and startled me. Grace stuck her head into the room
and said,
“Come
with me.” I followed her down the hall into an OB exam room.
After
the exam, I went home and showered. I had to do something with Derek and I knew
my time was running out. The warm shower comforted me as I scrubbed Coop off my
skin. When I pulled the T-shirt over my head and released my hair from the ponytail,
I noticed the bruises around my neck again. If Derek saw that . . . if anyone saw
it, I’d have to explain it. I changed into a turtleneck. I knew my family was
due back soon and I didn’t want to see them. I grabbed a bottle of water from
the fridge, threw the pill in my mouth and swallowed it.
As I was
leaving, I passed Daddy and Spence returning from the airport. I didn’t even look up. I couldn’t. I just mumbled something as I got into my car.
I sat in
Derek’s driveway for a few minutes before going to his door and knocking. He
flung the door open and grabbed me.
“Oh my
God! Are you OK?” he asked. I nodded and pulled away from him. Derek closed the
door and followed me to the sofa. I sat silently as he hit me with a barrage of
questions, none of which I could answer honestly. What happened? Where did
Coop take me? Did he hurt me? He asked
every question except the most important one. Was I raped? I was so relieved
that he didn’t ask, but I knew it was on his mind. He stared at my face until I
asked,
“What
are you looking at?”
“You. I’m
trying to see the truth because you’re not telling it.”
“What do
you want me to say? You think I can’t take care of myself?” I asked, annoyance
in my voice. He sat back away from me, his brows curled into a confused frown.
“Look, a
nigga kidnaps you outta my bed at gunpoint! I’m not supposed to have questions?
I called your phone forever and you didn’t answer! I’m not supposed to have
questions?”
“I’ve
answered your damned questions, Derek! What d’ya want from me?” I shouted,
standing and grabbing my purse and keys.
“Leah!
What the fuck?”
“I’m
out. I’ll holla at you later,” I said. He grabbed my wrist hard and I freaked.
“I’m
sorry! Hold on! Just hold up a minute!”
“For
what? So you can cross examine me some more? No, Derek!”
“Look,
you know Coop gotta be dealt with. I just need to know what he did so I’ll know
whether to kill ‘im or just fuck him up real good,” he said. I knew where he
was coming from. Coop had not only disrespected him, he disrespected his home
and his woman. I really wasn’t mad at that. I wanted Coop to get got. But I
also needed to protect Derek and my dad and brother. I had to handle it by
myself. Then I looked into his eyes and saw his anger and pain.
“First,
it wasn’t your fault. He snuck you. OK? So don’t blame yourself. Second, yeah,
we had a fight. He doesn’t like me seeing you. He says I’m sleeping with the enemy
and he threatened to tell my dad. He followed me home and I went to bed,” I
said. He searched my face for a clue. I was stoic. He stared at me to see if I
would flinch. I didn’t.
“Did he
touch you?” he asked. My insides quivered.
“Nah, it
wasn’t that serious. OK? So, can we drop this? I just wanna go home and get
some sleep.” Still staring, he stepped aside and let me pass to the door. Just
before I walked out, I kissed his cheek.